


Not a Public Service Announcement

by brainofck



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Other, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-07
Updated: 2011-08-07
Packaged: 2017-10-22 08:34:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/236149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainofck/pseuds/brainofck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For the 2009 J/D Ficathon, I got Prehistoric_Sea, who prompted as follows:</p><ul>Two (2) Requirements:<br/>1. porn<br/>2. emotional complexity<br/>Optional Request: two options:<br/>1) It’s a trope of early SG-1 slash that Daniel is locked in the closet (often by Jack), barefoot, and weeping. Write an intelligent, contemporary take on this trope. Something real, if not realistic, fresh if not new.<br/>2) Daniel assumed Jack knew he was transgender (FtM)--wouldn't something like that be in his file? Now that they've had a disastrous, mutually humiliating hook-up, can they put it behind them and have the relationship they both want--because the attraction isn't going anywhere.<br/>Restriction #1: character-bashing<br/>Restriction #2: too-perfect sex</ul><p>Well, I've sort of done optional request 1 before: <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/168748">Possession</a>.</p><p>So.</p><p>The second optional request.  Hmmmmm.  Strangely FTM Daniel started speaking to me.  So.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Not a Public Service Announcement

**Author's Note:**

> For the 2009 J/D Ficathon, I got Prehistoric_Sea, who prompted as follows:
> 
> Two (2) Requirements:  
> 1\. porn  
> 2\. emotional complexity  
> Optional Request: two options:  
> 1) It’s a trope of early SG-1 slash that Daniel is locked in the closet (often by Jack), barefoot, and weeping. Write an intelligent, contemporary take on this trope. Something real, if not realistic, fresh if not new.  
> 2) Daniel assumed Jack knew he was transgender (FtM)--wouldn't something like that be in his file? Now that they've had a disastrous, mutually humiliating hook-up, can they put it behind them and have the relationship they both want--because the attraction isn't going anywhere.  
> Restriction #1: character-bashing  
> Restriction #2: too-perfect sex

> 
> Well, I've sort of done optional request 1 before: [Possession](http://archiveofourown.org/works/168748).
> 
> So.
> 
> The second optional request. Hmmmmm. Strangely FTM Daniel started speaking to me. So.

He (she?) certainly had a punch like the kick of a mule, Jack thought with a sort of detached professional appraisal, as the force of it spun him to the side. Jack was so surprised by the attack he only barely managed to catch himself before he slammed his chin into Daniel's dresser. Just as well he didn't snap his own stupid neck while naked in Daniel Jackson's bedroom. As it was, his forehead crashed into the furniture instead with a sickening crack. That was gonna bruise.

"Get out!" Daniel roared. "Get out of my house!"

From his place dizzily swaying on his knees, Jack saw Daniel collecting Jack's clothes from the floor. He half expected the furious, and also naked man (woman?) to storm through the apartment and throw Jack's clothes out into the public hallway, for him to dress in full sight of the little old lady two doors down as she brought her groceries up in her handy portable folding cart.

Jack staggered to his feet, trying to shake off the unbalance of what was probably a mild concussion, pushed himself double-time to prevent that final humiliation.

As he came through the door into the living room, he got a face full of his own dirty underwear and socks. By the time he caught them all and could look around the room again, Daniel was nowhere to be seen, obviously gone through further to the kitchen.

Jack struggled into his boxers and khakis. He couldn't manage hopping on one foot to put on his socks, and ended upon his ass, fighting to pull them back on. They were still sweat damp. He had only taken them off a few minutes ago. He got his shirt on over his swimming head to find Daniel standing tall and imperious in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Get out," he said again. Jack thought of him as "he." He had known Daniel too long to accommodate the mismatch between Daniel's body and _Daniel_. He was a damned tall woman, Jack thought. Yeah. His brain was completely scrambled.

Daniel was still talking to him.

"I called you a cab. It will pick you up from the lobby. I gave them your cell number. Now get the _hell_ out."

And that was what Jack did. Retreated in the face of Daniel's fury in a panic of confusion and cowardice.

* * *

Considering how many fumbled kisses they had managed in the SGC over the last few weeks, Jack found it frustratingly difficult to just get a few minutes alone with Daniel, once Daniel no longer wanted to talk to him. He had to result to bodily hauling him into a supply closet. The last time Jack had done that, it was a lot more fun. This time, as soon as the door shut he got a knee to the groin rather than Daniel's very talented tongue down his throat. At least he was expecting it this time. He blocked neatly. There would be a deep bruise in his thigh, but at least _this_ time he wouldn’t have to explain that to Fraiser until he had a mission to blame it on.

He crushed Daniel against the wall to forestall any further attempts at self-defense.

He felt Daniel taking a breath to tell him off and slapped his hand over his mouth. Daniel's slim, wiry strength meant something brand new to Jack. He found it as disconcerting now as he had found it appealing three days ago.

"I'm sorry," he said immediately, even as he realized he was reflexively getting hard here in the closet with the object of his crush, despite his new awareness of Daniel's body. "What I said was inexcusable. But I was surprised, okay? Seriously, how could something like that not be in your file?" Which was one of the two or three thoughts that had been running through Jack's brain in a continuous loop since he got punched in the head.

Daniel bit him on the hand, hard, reminding him he wasn't going to get an answer until he moved it.

"Because there's nothing to _put_ in the file," Daniel hissed. "My file agrees with my driver's license, my passport, and birth certificate. So, _if_ you don't mind," Daniel said, then brought a heavy boot down cruelly on Jack's foot.

"I deserved that…"

"Of course, you did," Daniel growled. "I wanted this to go somewhere, Jack. You bastard, I've been out for my entire adult life, and I let you lock me back in the closet again, for the sake of your precious Don't Ask, Don't Tell. I can't even remember what it was like to not be gay. For that matter, half this base already _knows_ that I'm gay, and half of _them_ have already come on to me. So the point of trying to be _in_ again is beyond me. But I was willing to do that. For you. But I will _not_ let you attack my very identity just because I don't fit with exactly what you were expecting when I took my clothes off. Get _off_ me, jackass!" He tried to shove Jack away, and Jack stepped back.

"I'm sorry," he repeated plaintively, but Daniel was already turning his back on him, yanking open the door to the storeroom, storming off in a huff. The handsome young captain he nearly plowed over, turned a keen and knowing eye on Jack, who returned the look with a deadly glower that wiped the smug, judgmental expression off the man's face and sent him hustling along his way.

"Well, that could have gone better," Jack muttered under his breath, stalking back to his office and the blissful oblivion of paperwork.

* * *

So the last thing Jack expected was for Daniel to appear at his door that night, a six pack in each hand, though the first two bottles were already gone from one of them.

"No, I didn't drive, I took a cab," Daniel said preemptively, as he breezed past Jack and into the kitchen, putting the beer in the fridge, but first taking two bottles out. He brushed past Jack again, heading for the sofa.

"Get your own," he tossed back over his shoulder, as he twisted the lid of the first bottle and drank it down in one long draught. Jack blinked after his unexpected visitor. Clearly Daniel wasn't sharing.

"Maybe I shouldn't. The last time we did this when we were both drunk, I ended up with a concussion and a helluva shiner," Jack said. His eye wasn't swollen shut anymore, and the headaches had gone away. No sense tempting fate.

"How _could_ something like that not be in my file?" Daniel asked belligerently. Jack decided to treat it as a rhetorical question.

Daniel twisted the lid off the next bottle absently and took another sip.

"So," Daniel said, "You have the honor of being the first person I have ever…" he paused to drink with one hand and gesture between them with the other, "who didn't already know before we started," he finished.

"Therefore," he continued with a dramatic pause, "You get thirty minutes, and then we will not be speaking of this again. Ever." Daniel said. He was drawn in on himself. "This is not some sort of public service announcement or an afterschool special: _Why Danielle became Daniel_."

"I get that," Jack said, trying to sound understanding and reassuring.

"My parents didn't fight it when I wanted to be a boy," Daniel said, not waiting for Jack to ask questions. "In some ways, it made their lives easier. They thought having a son was less risky than having a daughter. They let me cut my hair and wear boy's clothes. And that was what I wanted, and it was _always_ what I wanted."

He drank again.

"I've really always felt like it was sort of an illness, that I was born with the wrong body parts. Foster homes were trouble at the beginning, but I finally landed with an older couple that took good care of me and excused my 'tomboy' behavior because I was a poor little orphan, and that was fine with me. Very few people knew about the problems with my body, and as soon as I was old enough, I started taking care of them. I had surgery on my chest, then had the uterus and ovaries removed, which put an end to my problem with menstruation. You have to have noticed the testosterone patches."

Jack nodded. He had assumed they were nicotine patches.

"Everybody who sees them figures I'm having trouble quitting smoking…" Daniel ruminated. "Anyway, the testosterone treatments made me a tenor instead of an alto, and my dick finally grew. It made it easier to pee standing up and while it won't hit your prostate, I know from experience guys love what it can do to their hole." He said this last with a little bit of that sultry arrogance that Jack had finally gotten to see on their one date.

"And I'm at the end of my humiliating prepared speech. Any questions?" Daniel prompted.

The fourth bottle of beer was gone.

"I need to piss," Daniel said, standing up suddenly.

Jack opened his mouth to protest the lost time, only to be forestalled by a peremptory "aht" and finger from Daniel.

"Then I should at least get the minutes back," Jack complained.

"Not my problem," Daniel called back over his shoulder.

Jack refrained from following Daniel down the hall to the toilet. He waited impatiently for him to come back.

He finally reappeared. He looked like he had splashed water on his face. His bangs and sideburns were damp. Jack had a sudden desire to touch the strangely soft skin of his face, now explained.

"Any question I want?" Jack asked.

"For the next," Daniel made a show of checking his watch, "fifteen minutes."

"Okay," Jack said, keeping a close eye on him in case this was exactly the wrong question. "How can you grow a dick?"

He thought of the tiny, thumb-sized thing he had seen when Daniel dropped his pants. He had been anticipating getting to see Daniel naked since they had agreed to the date, because somehow in all the time they had been sharing a locker room, Jack had never seen Daniel full-frontal. He'd seen his back plenty of times, and his perfect, round ass, but in the john or in the showers or getting dressed, somehow the angle was always perfectly wrong to see his dick. In hindsight, it was a pretty impressive skill Daniel had developed. At the time, Jack put it down to geeky modesty. That night he finally saw Daniel naked, and realized that Daniel was… not what Jack was expecting, Jack had unfortunately used the word "freak."

At least he had been too much the seasoned officer to punch him back.

For a moment Jack thought maybe Daniel really was going to hit him again. Then Daniel took a deep breath, and the anger left his face and eyes. When he reached for another beer bottle, Jack reached out and caught his wrist. Daniel compressed his lips tightly and pulled his arm back, leaning back into the couch with sigh. He looked away, out the back window.

"Testosterone therapy enlarges the clitoris," he said, almost mechanically. "Metoidioplasty frees it from the surrounding supportive tissue."

"Well, that's… clinical," Jack replied.

Daniel shrugged.

"I really am sorry," Jack said.

"I really assumed you knew. I shouldn't have assumed. I just don't like talking about that part of my past," Daniel replied quietly.

Jack wished he were still holding Daniel's hand. He took a deep breath and went for it.

"Do you think we can put that behind us? Because the attraction isn't going anywhere, and it hasn't gone anywhere for _years_ now, and frankly, I've still got a hard on for you that I could use to pound nails, despite the strange… stuff… you just said and the concussion and everything." To emphasize his point, Jack moved across the room, sitting down close to Daniel on the couch.

"Don't you have a way with words?" Daniel said, grinning despite himself, shifting over to make room. He touched Jack's face tenderly. "I'm still _not_ sorry," he emphasized, but his eyes and smile were gentle.

"I know," Jack agreed softly.

"You deserved it," Daniel murmured, his fingers tracing the edges of the bruise.

"Definitely," Jack said.

Daniel closed the distance between them. His lips tasted of beer. Daniel's fingers pushed into Jack's hair. Jack's arms circled around Daniel's waist.

"You're not going to change your mind about this after you think about the _stuff_ I said?" Daniel demanded. His kisses were becoming less exploratory and more possessive with every heartbeat. He was shoving Jack into the couch cushions, weighing him down. Jack shifted so that his legs were on the cushions and Daniel immediately took advantage, straddling his thigh and trapping it, his warm crotch pressing against Jack through the thin material of his khakis.

"I don't think so," Jack replied breathlessly, crooking his knee to help Daniel out and also to ease the pressure on his own dick. He felt like he could blow any second just from the feel of Daniel, humping against his leg.

"You're not going to think I'm some kind of 'freak,' to quote someone who recently found out about my former medical problems?" he persisted.

"Let's get our clothes off and find out," Jack suggested.

"Not good enough," Daniel said forcefully, biting Jack's lower lip for emphasis.

"I dunno, I was thinking your freakishness has potential," Jack said with a wicked smile.

Daniel glared back at him for all of a split second before attacking his mouth while simultaneously disentangling himself from Jack's lap. He had to break off the kiss to drag him to his feet.

"Come on,' he growled.

They fell into the bed, clothes still on, resulting in much wrestling and squirming as Daniel struggled out of his t-shirt, then took over from Jack, ripping open the remaining buttons of Jack's shirt. He tangled his fingers in Jack's chest hair, staring at Jack's bare chest. Daniel's face was flushed, his eyes bright, his lips deliciously kiss-swollen. He focused on Jack's right nipple and latched down on it sucking and tonguing. Jack's hard on was pressing into Daniel's belly, as he resumed grinding down on him.

"Daniel," Jack gasped. Daniel lifted his mouth only to switch sides bearing down on the other nub, applying teeth.

"Danny!" he groaned and on Daniel's next thrust, he shot his load in his still-zipped jeans.

Daniel must have felt Jack's body shift. He looked up in surprise. Jack would have been embarrassed, if he could have found the brain cells. Daniel shifted off and looked down between them, giving a husky chuckled at Jack's expense when he saw the spreading wet spot.

"Well, I guess I'm doing you, then," Daniel said.

"Works for me," Jack replied as Daniel attacked his pants fastenings and peeled the jeans and soiled boxers down Jack's legs in one long pull.

Jack rolled over lazily, shoving the pillow off the bed, then faceplanting in the mattress. Daniel liked being in charge, it seemed, and post-orgasmic Jack was happy to continue to let Daniel have his way with his spent body.

Daniel was kicking his pants off. He snagged the pillow from the floor and slapped Jack's right thigh.

"Nice ass," Daniel commented. "Get it up."

Jack stuck his butt in the air so Daniel could get the pillow wedged under him.

"Oh, yeah. Really nice," Daniel muttered to himself. "Is there lube?"

"Nightstand," Jack mumbled.

Daniel straddled his thighs and reached over, shuffling through the contents of the drawer. Jack cringed inwardly, realizing what _else_ Daniel was going to find in there, but he didn't comment, just snapped the lid and glopped cold goop into Jack's crack.

"Hey!" he protested.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were already asleep," said Daniel with mock contrition. He began enthusiastically and efficiently massaging lube into Jack's hole. Jack arched his neck around to watch. Daniel was watching his fingers disappear into Jack's ass as he almost absentmindedly stroked his tiny dick. It was weird, but it was erotic, too. He collapsed forward with a groan as Daniel finally found his sweet spot.

Then Daniel's fingers were gone and he was resituating his hips, cupping Jack's buttocks, holding him open with his thumbs, then pressing into him with slow concentration.

It was different, Jack decided. He had been anticipating the usual breathing through the initial penetration, and it was nice when Daniel's dick went in easy as his fingers.

On the other hand, there wasn't the usual stretch and depth.

On the _third_ hand…

Daniel leaned into him, covering him completely, capturing Jack's wrists and holding him down. When he started to move, he pistoned in and out, hard and fast. It was shallow, but intense. Jack's refraction period wasn't quick enough for him to get hard again, but his body was definitely trying. He felt the building warmth and tension from the perineal stimulation of Daniel's rhythmic humping.

Then Daniel panted hard, grunting in Jack's ear as he pressed into him. With a full-body shudder, he went slack across Jack's back.

Just as Jack's dick was really starting to get with the program again, against all odds.

"You stranded me, bastard," he complained.

Daniel rolled off him, waving his had vaguely.

"If you can get it up again, you can fuck me if you want. Or if you let me catch my breath, I can get that monster dildo out of the drawer… I'll never be that big, you know…"

Jack made a dismissive noise.

"Hell, _Teal'c's_ not that big." He rolled over and looked into Daniel's sleepy eyes.

"Your dick has a lot going for it."

"Told you," Daniel said smugly. They lay together, breathing calmly, staring at the ceiling. Within a minute, Daniel was snoring gently.

Jack lay awake. His butt felt over lubed and the slick sliminess of it was feeding into the buzz of the fuck. He reached back to finger his ass, not penetrating, just circling and rubbing. He was definitely getting hard again. He sat up and looked down at his sleeping lover. He let his eyes linger on the masculine chest. He wondered how they had done that without any scars. Daniel's abs were flat and defined, his thighs were lean and narrow, though again, his hips were fuller than Jack would have expected.

He let his eyes linger on Daniel's crotch. He thought it would be interesting to suck Daniel's cock, though another time, when it had seen less action. He reached out and touched it anyway, gently caressing it with tentative fingers. Daniel sighed deeply and he looked up to find Daniel watching him.

Daniel's eyes fell to his now stiff erection.

"That fast? Impressive."

"What can I say, you're a hottie," Jack replied. "I was just anticipating sucking your dick."

Daniel gave him a dazzling smile.

"Whenever you're ready," Daniel offered.

"Later," Jack said. "Right now, I'm gonna use this for what's it's for this time." He gripped his own cock for emphasis.

Daniel's smile turned predatory as he drew his knees up.

"Wow. You have balls!"

Daniel's head snapped up, his eyes narrowed.

"I said thirty minutes," he warned.

"They're kinda big, too," Jack said. "And hairy. How did they do that?"

Daniel relaxed back.

"I'll spell 'metoidioplasty' for you in the morning. You can use Google for what it's for."

"Yasureyoubetcha," Jack replied absently as he ran his thumbs over Daniel's scrotum. He liked the way Daniel's dick was responding. He stroked with his fingers. He ran his thumbs back down to press lower.

Daniel gave a deep moan of appreciation. Jack's cock twitched impatiently.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Go for it," Daniel said.

Daniel did have to breathe through the burn. Jack went carefully, concentrating on moving gradually, letting Daniel adjust.

"You don't have to be so courtly about it," Daniel teased, "you're not the biggest guy _I've_ been with, either," but Jack could see the strain around his eyes and hear the breathlessness in his voice, so Jack just smiled back.

"Glad you're such a slut," he said. "Virgins are no fun."

Daniel laughed, and everything loosened. When Jack slid home unexpectedly, they both gasped.

Jack took Daniel's legs onto his own shoulders, shifting backwards and drawing Daniel onto his folded knees. With his dick buried inside him, Jack began stroking Daniel again, from the tip of his dick down over his balls, then back up.

Daniel was already panting again.

"See, I was right. The freakishness has definite potential."

"Jerk," Daniel gasped.

"Sure," Jack agreed. He began a slow, deep grind accompanied by a long, light stroke on Daniel's cock that kept them both on the edge for a long time before they eventually came, sweaty and panting.

After he recovered enough energy to move again, he gathered Daniel into his arms, wrapping him up in his legs, too, pulling the comforter over their cooling bodies.

He thought Daniel was asleep until he started talking again, taking up his lecture from earlier as if he had never left off.

"I dealt with the legal problems created by my body problems, too. Though luckily, Dad had corrected my birth certificate way back at the beginning, so everything matches up, even the Egyptian documents. Which is probably why this wasn't in my file. I'm just a gay guy, like you. Nothing to see here. Move along. Wow. Even my background check missed it? That's kinda… Wow."

Jack sighed.

"Really, the strange _stuff_ hasn't made you reconsider?" Daniel sounded unsure for the first time since he arrived on Jack's doorstep hours ago.

"No, Daniel," he said. "Not reconsidering at all here."

"Okay," Daniel mumbled against his chest.

Jack chuckled to himself. He would look up metoidioplasty. But he'd do it on the computer in Carter's lab during a search on male to female reconstructive surgery. He was already snickering at her reaction to noticing the browser history.

"What's so funny?" Daniel asked.

"Teal'c uses Carter's computer, yes?"

"I think so. Go to sleep."

Jack drifted off with a smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> I could never write a truly genderqueer character. So the Daniel of the awesome piece this summer, [Myths to Live By](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4360?view_adult=true), by Prehistoric_Sea herself, is well beyond my reach. I will treat you as you want to be treated, and respect you in every way, but I know I lack the sensitivity to really write a character who wants to be ze, not she or he.
> 
> So I did the thing I understand best. I wrote a character who really feels like she is _wrong_. A mistake. A cosmic joke at his expense. And he goes to great lengths to fix the mistake as best he can.
> 
> I was _very_ relieved when I was assured by more than one source that in fact, a lot of trans persons actually do feel this way. They don't want to be in the middle, they actively desire to be the other gender.
> 
> This is the Daniel I wrote. He sees masculine as his baseline, and things that get him closer to that, despite the fact that they might involve major surgical events, still fall out as natural for him.
> 
> Melayneseahawk was concerned, for instance, when I had Daniel describe his dick as "growing" without any further explanation. But I think for him, this is sort of what happened. Obviously, the surgery helped the process, but Daniel is focused on what testosterone therapy did to his body, not on the cosmetic surgery that came later.
> 
> But he's uneasy about this, too, hence his distaste for discussing it. He wants it over and done with, behind him.
> 
> So. Hopefully, the story I produced will work and not be completely offensive to everyone.
> 
> Love,  
> CK


End file.
